Battling Through Uncertainty

My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

Psalm 130:6 (KJV)


Without batting an eye, I can tell you the top three most nerve-wrecking moments in college:

  1. The first day of class ever as a freshman…For me, it was a typical scene from a college movie. A gloomy, rainy day, and I walked into the wrong room for French. I survived, and it wasn’t really embarrassing.
  2. When final grades are posted. Even if you know your grade, something about those email notifications are absolutely unsettling. But you learn to just log in, take a look, and breathe.
  3. Starting your paper the day it’s due. There’s no better adrenaline rush than knowing you have 5 1/2 hours to write a research paper on a topic you haven’t actually researched.

These three instances have something in common: UNCERTAINTY. There was no worse feeling in those moments than thinking: What’s about to happen!? I’ve done all I can, and I have no control in this!

Beyond the classroom, uncertainty hits us in other areas of our lives. Our purpose: Am I following God’s will for my life? Our relationships: What if I don’t get married? Am I going to have solid friendships? Our finances: How am I going to pay this bill? How soon am I going to get another job? It can be completely overwhelming. Yes, God promises He will provide for us, but does that mean He will specifically answer a prayer we’ve been requesting for days, weeks, or years?

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How to be Single | Video

It’s easy to fall into the trap of having faith in every area of our lives…except for one. It might be that you trust God with sharing the gospel, but you don’t trust him in your finances. Or perhaps, you trust Him with getting you through school, but faith runs short when it comes to your family.

I find that many people have this mindset when it comes to their dating life. But why is that? Has being single become a lost art? Today, I talk about this in my new video.

Click below to watch!

The Happy Grad

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

(Psalm 1:3 KJV)


Grab a pen and paper. If you could have anything right now to make yourself happier, what would it be? List everything down that comes to mind.

What’s in your heart?

A few months ago before college graduation, I did this. It was the middle of spring semester, and it wasn’t the easiest senior spring. Some of my friends had one or two classes, and I had a full course load. Other friends had job offers since October, and I had no options in sight. I knew exactly what I needed to be happier: to graduate on the Dean’s List, a full-time offer for my dream job, etc. Basically, I would have LOVED a detailed road map of my future.

Graduation Cap_Edit

I didn’t get it, though. Instead I had to wait and take one day at a time. Ultimately, I wanted to be happy. I was totally content, but I wanted to know that when I walked across that stage in May, I would be taken care of.

Months later, I can tell you that God did give me the desires of my heart. I graduated summa cum laude, I got my dream opportunity. I can also tell you this doesn’t make me happy at the end of the day. The road to these things was unimaginable. But what makes me happy was that I chose to honor God when I didn’t understand.

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The One Thing I Learned as a 20 Year Old

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

(Matthew 6:25-26 NKJV)


Every year on my birthday, I have a tradition where I take time to reflect on the past birthday-balloons_editand write about how I’ve changed. This year in particular is special, as I come to the end of being 20 years old! To celebrate the last two decades of my life, I wanted to do something quirky–perhaps a 20 Things I Learned at 20 kind-of-thing–but as I brainstormed ideas, I couldn’t help but notice that there was actually one important lesson I learned this past year.

One lesson that was underneath all the other ones I have learned. One that I realize God has been trying to teach me for years:

Stop trying to figure things out prematurely.

I know that I want to control things. I want to know what will happen next and choose the ending if I can. However, as I’ve grown in my faith, I’ve learned that God’s plan is always better than mine.

So, when I had this revelation, I didn’t initially understand it. I thought, Well, God, You know I just want to know Your will. No harm in that. That’s true. Wouldn’t we all want to know God’s will for our lives?

However, what He showed me through various scenarios was that my desire to know His will had turned into an inability to trust Him. Take for example, a few months ago in the spring. I had applied to three different internships, which I hoped would lead to full-time positions by next year. However, waiting to hear back from them was agonizing. I worried about which path God wanted me to take, as it would possibly affect my soon-to-be career. My attitude would constantly fluctuate, from calm to impatient to discouraged. I bounced back and forth, wondering, God, what do You want me to do? Please, give me clarity.

This discouragement brought intense doubt. I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t giving me the clarity I was asking for. I worried that I wouldn’t have any internship that summer, and consequently, my career goals would be hindered. Perhaps I wasn’t good enough for the opportunities I wanted.

Funny enough, in this particular instance, all I had to do was wait. Little did I know, in just a week or two, I would hear back from all three internships I applied to and could now make a decision. God closed and opened doors that led to the opportunity that was best for me.

Before then, I was trying to make decisions based on nothing. Nothing happened (yet), but I believed I needed to know the future immediately!

Not all situations I’ve been through have been as simple as this one. I’ve been through circumstances that have required longer turnaround times or didn’t necessarily end up with happy endings. However, what I’ve learned this year is key: walking ahead of God steals joy.

With a limited perspective, it’s easy to find ourselves trying to skip ahead of Him. Think back to Eve in the Garden of Eden. Satan tempted her to eat the forbidden fruit, using the idea that she could obtain the kind of knowledge only God had:

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat (Genesis 3:5-6 KJV).

Eve stepped into a place where she didn’t belong, and the enemy was clearly behind it. This action not only affected her but Adam and the rest of humanity.

When we try to walk ahead of God, we make hasty decisions that lead to guilt, shame, and regret from the consequences that follow. Before the fall, Adam and Eve had no shame–as God intended: “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25 KJV). However, when they walked outside God’s will–His intentions–they experienced shame, one of the consequences of sin. Immediately after Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they tried to hide from God: “And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden” (v. 8).

This past year, because of my impatience, I was careless with my thoughts and emotions, and consequently, attempted to take matters into my own hands. Yet, by God’s grace, I didn’t act on impulse and was instead reminded that He is a God of order and timing.

The season in which we are in now has a purpose, as will the next season and the ones to follow. However, if we try to skip ahead, there are consequences. When I tried to figure out my future and rush ahead of God, the enemy capitalized on that to make me feel hopeless and discontented  in areas that I wasn’t even previously concerned about.

Do we really gain anything from trying to figure out how our lives will play out in the future? The only thing we might gain is confusion, anger, and resentment from the frustration of our circumstances. It’s essential that we must stop making problems out of nothing and wait upon the Lord.

Fortunately, God knows our shortcomings, and He graciously waits for us to come back to Him. However, if we decide we don’t want to listen, He’ll let us get our way, and our way probably won’t turn out well.

It comes down to whether we choose to trust the Lord and be stable in our circumstances, without knowing the future.

Moving forward, I know which choice I’m going to make.

Here’s to making 21 and the years to come about continuing to walk with God–with Him in the lead.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

(Genesis 6:34 NKJV)